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Hitting Training For Baseball & Softball Swing Trainers | Hitting Performance Lab

ANSWERED: Why is the debate about delayed vs instant gratification important to youth sports?  Learn the psychology, exercises, and examples.  Are video games better for child development than sports?  Explore the Marshmallow Experiment and learn how to stop and overcome the “right now” mentality.

The Ugly Truth About Video Gaming, What It Means To The Youth Hitting Industry, & How To Fix…

 

 

Literally taken by surprise, I was SHOCKED to learn…

…how many of my hitters – mostly male – are obsessed with Fortnite.  No, “Fortnite” isn’t an old English term used to describe a unit of time equal to 14 days (2 weeks).  That’s “fortnight”.  I’m talking about “Fortnite”, the video game that beautiful young ladies around the country are taking steps to do the following

For those who don’t know, what’s the “thing” with Fornite?  According to Wikipedia:

“Fortnite is a co-op sandbox survival game…Fortnite is set in contemporary Earth, where the sudden appearance of a worldwide storm causes 98% of the world’s population to disappear, and zombie-like creatures rise to attack the remainder.”

When I survey all my hitters about how long they play Fortnite in a day, I get answers all over the board, from zero to 6-8 hours in a day (on their day off).  Dang!  On average, it seems 1-2 hours is “normal” daily play time.  My sample size includes age 8 all the way up to Junior High and High School athletes (about a 50/50 age mix)!

Why should a coach care? 

Because of behavioral conditioning: delayed versus instant gratification.

As you may have noticed, video games have changed since we were younger.  They’re more sophisticated.  More sticky.  More addictive.  And studies show, have a similar effect on the brain as Methamphetamine.  During video game play, the brain is quickly and consistently being showered (rewarded) by the feel good chemical dopamine.

Don’t believe me?  Check out the book by Nir Eyal and Ryan Hoover titled, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products.  Can you see where I’m going with this?

The challenge to coaches and parents is video gaming will eventually take over physical sports, if we aren’t proactive.  WHY?  Compared to what the video gaming experience can offer youth athletes, learning a new physical motor skill can take too dang long!!  Don’t worry, I’m not calling for a ban of Fortnite…my hitters would KILL ME!  Just a little strategic behavioral conditioning.  Delayed gratification is the answer, and rest assured, it can be learned and trained.  We’ll get into how to do that soon.  But first, let’s learn about marshmallows…

The Marshmallow Study

If you haven’t already, check out the above video reenactment of the 1960’s Stanford Marshmallow Study.  It’s cute to watch the internal struggle, alone in a room, of a 4 or 5 year old leaving a single soft squishy off-white sugar explosion in your mouth marshmallow, in anticipation of a second one, if they can wait 15-mins.

The interesting thing wasn’t so much the physical study, but the effect after the study.  Over the course of 40-years after the original study.  They tracked the kids from school to their work lives, and as it relates to delayed versus instant gratification, how things turned out for them was fascinating.

What brought the idea of delayed versus instant gratification to my attention was a fantastic book by my friend Bryan Eisenberg titled, Be Like Amazon: Even A Lemonade Stand Can Do It.  In the book, Bryan references the Marshmallow Study and connects the dots to great business people being experts in delayed gratification (Amazon’s Jeff Bezos as an example).

Furthermore…

CLICK HERE for a great article by James Clear about the Marshmallow Study, and developing the fine art of delayed gratification.  You can read the article.  Links to many of the original studies are in his post.  I’ll just pick out the interesting points for our purposes.  First, here are the benefits found in kids with better delayed gratification skills:

“The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures.”

This is pretty cool, but there was a slightly modified version of the Marshmallow Study at the University of Rochester.  And I think it provides more insight for us coaches…

Before offering the child the marshmallow, the researchers split the children into two groups.

The first group was exposed to a series of unreliable experiences. For example, the researcher gave the child a small box of crayons and promised to bring a bigger one, but never did. Then the researcher gave the child a small sticker and promised to bring a better selection of stickers, but never did.

Meanwhile, the second group had very reliable experiences. They were promised better crayons and got them. They were told about the better stickers and then they received them.”

…The children in the unreliable group had no reason to trust that the researchers would bring a second marshmallow and thus they didn’t wait very long to eat the first one.

Meanwhile, the children in the second group were training their brains to see delayed gratification as a positive. Every time the researcher made a promise and then delivered on it, the child’s brain registered two things: 1) waiting for gratification is worth it and 2) I have the capability to wait. As a result, the second group waited an average of four times longer than the first group.”

 

Are we Born with Delayed v. Instant Gratification?

I know what you may be thinking, “Can delayed gratification be taught?”  Here’s the whopper conclusion…

…the child’s ability to delay gratification and display self-control was not a predetermined trait, but rather was impacted by the experiences and environment that surrounded them. In fact, the effects of the environment were almost instantaneous. Just a few minutes of reliable or unreliable experiences were enough to push the actions of each child in one direction or another.”

Did you catch that? “…the child’s ability to delay gratification and display self-control WAS NOT A PREDETERMINED TRAIT…”.  Here’s the takeaway…

“…you can train yourself to become better simply by making a few small improvements. In the case of the children in the study, this meant being exposed to a reliable environment where the researcher promised something and then delivered it.

…We can train our ability to delay gratification…by promising something small and then delivering. Over and over again until your brain says, 1) yes, it’s worth it to wait and 2) yes, I have the capability to do this.”

James Clear offered these four steps:

  1. Start incredibly small. Make your new habit “so easy you can’t say no.”
  2. Improve one thing, by one percent. Do it again tomorrow.
  3. Use the “Seinfeld Strategy” to maintain consistency (focus on the process, not the performance).
  4. Find a way to get started in less than 2 minutes.

Instant gratification and Fortnite are the devil to youth sports participation!!!  Doesn’t mean we should ban video games.  But it does mean we coaches and parents MUST be more proactive with teaching solid delayed gratification principles.  Besides the 4-steps James Clear offered above, what does this look like with today’s young athletes?  Check out the following two posts titled,

The last thing I want to leave you with is this…

Whether you’re getting hitting information from me or someone else, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE teach human movement principles that are validated by REAL science, NOT because-I-said-so “bro-science”.  Opinions ARE NOT facts.  In this day and age of video gaming and the allure of instant gratification, there’s NO ROOM for hitting “opinion”.

 

Coaching Kids

Learn a solid youth baseball coaching 101 philosophy, 18 mistakes to avoid, and how to coach your son or daughter.  These principles work for 8u, 10u, 12u, middle and high school players.  They also work for softball players…

Coaching Kids Reader Question: “How do you get your own kid to listen/trust your advice as a coach and not as a parent?”

 

Coaching Kids

My son Noah and daughter Gracen, who were 4yo and 1yo respectively, at the time of this photo.

Be comforted to know that most parents coaching kids I’ve dealt with have a “coaching kids” challenge – especially when it’s their own!  And I’m preparing to have the same challenge with mine…already have coaches lined up who will be working with them when the time comes 😉

Let me start off by saying, this post IS NOT telling you how to raise your kids.  That’s not my place.  I’m offering advice on what works for me.   In addition, I’m not a child psychologist, or any other type of professional dealing in kid behavior.  Just like with everything on this blog, try it out for yourself, if it doesn’t work, then toss it.  Always be testing.

FYI, I may use the words “coach” or “coaching”, where you could also use the word “discipline” or “parent” or “parenting”.

That being said…

Over the years, I’ve received great advice from the parents of my hitters, before I had kids, and now.  When it comes to coaching kids, below is me throwing my brain up on your tech device screen!

In this post I’ll share:

  • The 30,000-foot view tips to keep “seasons of life” into perspective,
  • 18 ways to get your own kid to listen/trust your advice as a coach and not as a parent, and
  • Some high priority books and resources to read on the subject…

30,000-foot View Tips to Keep “Seasons of Life” into Perspective

When it comes to coaching kids, one thing to keep in mind from a 30,000-foot view…

I did a 6-week Men’s Fraternity class at my church a few years back.  The purpose of the class was to train and equip “Godly fathers”.  One thing that stuck out for me at the time, was that your perspective as a dad (or mom) MUST change with the season of life.  What does that look like?

  • Up to 12-years-old, parents are seen as coaches.  Most kids in this age range are less resistant to a parent barking orders.
  • During the psychological warfare teenage years, 13-years-old to college, parents are to be seen as a “listening” counselor.  God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen twice as much as we talk 😛  And,
  • The years following college, young adults getting into their professional lives, parents move into the “colleague” season of life.  New families, babies, etc.

Another great piece of coaching kids advice for those parents who wear both the “coach” and “parent” hat, was to have the ability to be coach on the field, but mom/dad in the car and away from the field.

One more fantastic piece of advice I received from a coach at Fresno State my Freshman year, at a time when I was so frustrated the coaches were tweaking every mechanical movement I did on the field (at least that’s how it felt to me anyway):

“You don’t need to worry when we’re coaching you.  You need to worry when we aren’t.  It means we’ve given up on you.

Powerful.  That message changed my perspective on coaching the rest of my career at Fresno State!  Look, coaching kids is love.  Make your kids aware of that.

 

18 Ways to get your own kid to Listen/Trust your Advice as a Coach and not as a Parent

I want to preface this section with the fact, I haven’t mastered any of the following points.  That’s right, still working on them.  And I welcome the fear that this process will be a journey, and not a destination.  I’m far from being perfect.  I heard this expert’s advice on one of my wife’s favorite dating shows Love at First Sight:

“If you want to find a perfect person, then you have to be perfect yourself.” One of the frustrated men who got married on the show responded with, “But I’m not perfect”, and the expert added, “Then it looks like you get the message.” (liiight bulb)

We don’t have to be perfect as parents, we just have to be willing to learn, make mistakes, adapt, and try again.  The following list of 18 tips for coaching kids will help (especially when the kids are your own!)

  1. Don’t overdo discipline.  Making mountains out of mole hills – pick your battles. Being consistent with rules and consequences is HUGE.  Remember Goldilocks Golden Rule…too many rules, and they’ll rebel later.  Little to no rules, and they’ll walk all over you and everyone else.  Find the sweet spot.  Without consistent rules and consequences, they won’t build the necessary mental muscles to develop self-discipline when they’re adults.
  2. Avoid overuse and burnout – playing multiple sports or being involved in multiple movement activities is key.  Variety is fun to kids, and the spice of their life.  The same thing over and over can become boring, which leads to burnout.  Bodies engaged in a variety of movements is a healthy body.  Say no to Sport Specialization early on.
  3. Make sure they’re “listening” (the VAK Model) – did you know that in less than 5-minutes, you can get a ballpark of a player’s learning style by asking them a few questions, and watching for where their eyes go? Up to left or right – visual learner.  Side to side – auditory learner.  Down to left or right, and straight ahead – kinesthetic learner (feel).  Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) calls this the VAK Model.  This comes in handy when coaching a child, they don’t look at you, and you tell them, “Look at me when I’m talking to you”…they may primarily be an auditory learner, NOT visual.
  4. Be careful tone of voice – my 5yo son is very sensitive to tone of voice (auditory learner), so I have to be careful when coaching him. I must have good reason to raise my voice during times of correction with him.  Also, tempo of words are important when raising the voice or not.  You want to strive for keeping the voice under control even when raising it.
  5. Don’t question by entrapment – asking leading questions in order to trap them isn’t very effective.  It’s condescending actually.  I’m a work in progress on this one.  Putting kids through an interrogation is a terrible idea, especially if you don’t want resentment later. The key is coming off with genuine curiosity as to why they made the mistake they did.  Remember, they’re not perfect, neither are you.  Easy on paper, hard to apply.
  6. Caution them once, then let them make the mistake (providing mistake doesn’t do extreme physical or mental harm) – ever tell your kid to not do something over and over and over and over?  Lessons are more effective when we get ‘hands on’ experience learning them ourselves.
  7. Praise them whenever they do something you want them to do“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”.  Behavioral conditioning is much more effective when rewarding for positive things, rather than punishing for the negative (i.e. taking things away).  See Karen Pryor’s book Don’t Shoot The Dog in the resources below.  I take my 5yo to 7-Eleven to get his favorite candy RIGHT after school. We also award stickers for doing certain things like listening the first time, cleaning up messes at home, and being patient with his little sister when she’s hitting him!  10 stickers earn him a toy in the $10-20 range.
  8. Ask their advice, put yourself in a learning mode – genuine curiosity.  Be honest, you LOVE when others ask for your advice, and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say.  Our kids love giving THEIR advice.  Be interested in their thought process.  I find it fascinating how clever they are at their age.  Sometimes I underestimate them, and they surprise me.
  9. Patience – using guided meditation apps like Headspace or Calm can be a real help with this.  The book resources below will help too.  Extreme patience in infectious.  Kids will model their parents.  If you’re an angry person, then chances are high your kids will be too.
  10. Understand what their big WHY is – what inspires them?  What motivates them?  Are they looking for attention (need significance), love (craving connection), routine (are they overwhelmed), or variety (are they bored)?  Knowing what’s driving their bad or good behavior can be a big help in prevention or promotion in the future.
  11. Show them the book, video, etc. you’re getting your info from – show them the hitting information you’re teaching them isn’t just “your” opinion.  Show them the science, experimentation, case studies, etc.  Give them proof.  Kids are pretty intuitive.  They seem to know when something has legs or when it doesn’t.  Give them proof.  Check out this post on How to Get Hitters to Buy Into the System.
  12. Give them options to “experiment” with – instead of saying, “Do it this way, not that way”.  Give them options.  You like options, don’t you?  Remember, these human movement principles are like bumpers in the gutter lanes of a bowling alley.  I don’t care what path the ball rolls down the lane, just as long as it stays between the bumpers.  A hitter’s stride type (aka “Float”) doesn’t matter, just as long as there is one.  Let them test, and choose which they feel more comfortable with.  Check out this post on Baseball Stride Drills: A How To Guide
  13. Show them high level movement examples – humans learn best by modeling.  Before there were “hitting coaches” – yes, there was such a time – hitters figured it out by watching other high level hitters.  And yes, it’s okay when coaching kids, to teach them high level movements.  Movement is movement.  Just like you wouldn’t teach an 8yo that 2 + 2 = 5 because they’re too young to learn the truth…you wouldn’t do the same with movement.
  14. Fun – coaching kids MUST be fun. I love positively teasing the kids.  I like making things up to see if they’re listening, “Where’s the keys to the batter’s box?”, “Do you know where the box of curve balls is?” “After running past third base, you run to FOURTH base…” etc.  Keep it light, and the drills fun. Check out this post on: TBall Drills: How To Coach Tee Ball Without Going Insane that may be of interest to those frustrated with coaching younger athletes.
  15. Keep expectations reasonable – “reasonable” doesn’t mean below their current ability level.  The expectations will depend on the age group.  Operating at or slightly above skill level will help players grow.  Learn to manage player frustration, know when to regress or progress a drill.
  16. Break things into small bites – make small circles at first.  The accumulation of many small circles build into a BIG circle snowball.  Focus on one movement principle at a time for a week or month, depending on the age and ability level.  Patience is your friend regardless of what decision the coach whose focus is on winning may be.
  17. Reward effort not talent – reward effort.  Reward process not performance.  “Good job!”, “You’re so smart”, and “You’re so talented” are not helpful pieces of feedback.  Coaching kids in character is best.  Remember, kids MUST learn life lessons through sports, not the other way around.
  18. Pat & Pop Method or the compliment sandwich – give the hitter 1-2 things you really like about their swing (the “Pat” on the back), before giving them the constructive criticism (the “Pop” in the mouth).  Or compliment-criticize-compliment sandwich.  You don’t like to be constantly criticized, and neither do they.  Teenagers often call this nagging.  Find the good before finding what needs to be corrected.

 

Coaching Kids Books & Resources

CLICK HERE for a post by the Positive Coaching Alliance titled, “7 Must-Read Books Of All Genres For Parents”.  Here are the books mentioned in that post, and a few others helping solve the question we started off with in this post:

Some I’ve read, and others are currently on my reading list.  This is a perfect segue to shamelessly plug my “sticky coaching” book on Amazon… 😛